it clicked

I've recently started a "30 before 30" list. Getting a tattoo is on that list.

I was browsing Pinterest and I found the perfect tattoo that would have a lot of meaning to me.

Now, I'm not one who has jumped on the anchor bandwagon, but I really do love this tattoo. I would/will probably get it with teal in it since that is the color for PCOS awareness.

I was talking with my Pop Pop about my journey in TTC, and he asked me if I would consider adopting. Lately, I've been thinking about other options if I can't get pregnant. But I think that has led me to more of a "giving up" mentality. I really don't want to give up.

I was talking with a friend at work who knows my situation. I told her that I was going to a fertility specialist. She mentioned who she goes to and apparently it's a small world here because she goes to the same practice that I'll be going to. It was a relief to hear that they are a great practice to go to.

I'm starting to get nervous as I'm about a month away from going to the fertility specialist. I'm praying for a sense of peace and encouragement as we move forward in our journey.

30 before 30

 I'm turning 29 on Friday...

WAAAH!! 

So I thought it would join the trend of making a 30 before 30 list. 

It'll be a work in progress...

1. Get a tattoo 
2. Get pregnant- been working on this one
3. Scrapbook my trip to Italy
4. Clean out our junk room
5. Go to an Eagles game
6. Go to a Wine & Design class
7. Buy a bike & get back into shape
8. Go camping with Christy
9. Visit my college roomies that live far away
10. Have an "oh crap" fund in savings
11. Reconcile my relationship with my dad
12. Read one book a month or 12 all together
13. Make 5 of the crafty things I've pinned on Pinterest
14. Celebrate my 30th birthday at the Borgata in Atlantic City!
15. Update my scrapbook for the hubs & I

I'm half way there...Stay tuned!

TTC Update

I found out this past weekend that my OB left the practice and didn't leave any information. 

Ugh. 

I just finished another round of meds, which didn't work, and I need a break. I was going to call my OB for a recommendation to a fertility specialist, but I guess that's not going to happen!

So, I decided to make an appointment with my Endo doctor. She told me before that she would recommend me to a fertility specialist. I went today, and she seemed pretty confident that now is the right time. 

So, off I go to the fertility specialist at the end of June. I just hope there are some things we can do that won't be extremely expensive. I will be heart broken if it comes to having to pay a great amount of money we can't afford. 

It's time to pray for guidance, a sense of calmness, and understanding. 

Sign of hope

Saturday I was 3 days late.

I took a prego test on Friday morning and it was negative. I wasn't surprised, but I was disappointed. The last week and a half my ladies had been really sensitive and that was new for me. For the first time since I've been on birth control, I was finally having some normal cycle symptoms.

When Saturday rolled around, I wasn't really sure what to think. I was feeling really down because I'm not prego, and I'm having these cycle symptoms with no cycle. So I had a little pity party for myself and dropped a few tears. I figured I'd give the doctor a call when I'm a week late.

Sunday morning I woke up and Aunt Flow finally arrived! I called my mom and she was sad because I wasn't prego. I was happy because that's at least a sign that the medicine is doing it's job!

I hope this month of meds will make me ovulate and we'll have better results!

I have some hope again.

Hello there!

A dear friend to me reminded me that I haven't updated this thing in a while.

I think the last time I wasn't too happy with what the nurse had told me to do with regards to the medicine. Nothing came of the dosage the nurse told me to take, so I decided to go see my OB.

I told my OB what my endocrinologist had told me (that I should go see and infertility specialist). My OB said that she pretty much felt the same what since it seemed the 100mg of clomid hadn't worked. I was a little confused because the nurse told me to stay on the 50 mg of the medicine. So then the doctor basically told me that it was a mistake and I should have already been on the 100 mg.

So, now I'm taking the 100mg of clomid and hopeful that it'll work. The doctor said that this is pretty much all she can do for me before I go see an infertility specialist. Sigh. I think the hubs and I may consider taking a break from medicine if the clomid doesn't work. We'll continue with a few rounds until I go see my OB in June. Who knows, maybe it'll work and I'll go see her before that!

So, my dear friend told me she had news. She was very sweet and trying to be sensitive to my situation because she told me she is pregnant with her 2nd. Of course I was so very happy for her! I've prayed and I try my best not to be jealous or disheartened when I find out friends and family are expecting a new bundle of joy. It really is a miracle and blessing for them, and I don't want take away from that blessing.

I'm sure anyone who has PCOS struggles with finding out when others are pregnant. We so desperately  want it to be us too. But we have to keep praying and hoping that one day it'll be us too.

2 thoughts

Medicine isn't always the best, especially when it messes with your taste buds. My love for coffee went out the door when I started taking some of the meds to help with my PCOS.

But! Something cool came of it. I've switched to drinking tea. The hubs and I were walking around the mall and we stumbled across a store called Teavana. My best friend had mentioned it before, but I had forgotten about it. It's a little pricey, so I decided to think about it, only to come back to it the next day. They have some really beautiful teas and they are really tasty.

This is the blooming tea I got. 

This is me enjoying that tea :)

Onto my 2nd thought. 

I went to my specialist for an update on the PCOS. In a nutshell she told me that she couldn't do anything else for me, and the medicine I'm on isn't doing what she had hoped it would. She also told me that the clomid that I had taken (2 rounds) didn't seem to work either. She suggested that I go talk to my OB or go to an infertility specialist. I decided to talk to my OB. The nurse told me that I should continue taking the clomid and if it doesn't work by June, then we'll talk about seeing an infertility specialist. 

I don't like that I have 2 conflicting pieces of information. I decided to take another round of the clomid, but if it doesn't work I'm going to go in to talk to my OB. I don't like the fact that clomid could potentially cause cysts if I take it for too long. What is the point of taking the clomid if it isn't working? 

We shall see. I've done research. The fact is that each person is different, and there is no definite answer. 

So the answer for now is- keep praying and time will tell. 

Christmas Spirit

I'm a little bummed this Christmas Holiday.

I won't be up in Jerz with my family, and we don't really have any family here in VA. However, I'm trying to keep my spirits joyful by doing a few fun things.

I saw this cute Pinterest idea. I made some for my co-workers for a holiday gift. Seeing as I'm not made of money and I like to be crafty, I thought this would be a good idea. Here is my version of the idea!

I also saw this really cute idea! It's a neat way to give your neighbor a little gift. I put one of my candy sleighs in the "You've Been Jingled" bag.

I hope you are enjoying the holiday season and are in the spirit!